Wives and cars

[02for2]

When I met my wife Brenda 15 yrs. ago, I already had a 240Z, a 280Z, a Norton Commando, a Lotus Turbo Esprit and a Formula Ford, so she knew right off that she didn't have a complaint coming.

Our 1st Xmas, she gave me a BoomBox and a Lawn Chair. Confused, I thanked her saying:" they're real nice Honey". She went on to explain that with these, she could come out to the garage, play some music and read a book while I wrentched, but at least we'd be spending time together. And many times, we did just that, me crawling under the car on Jackstands (often expanding my vocabulary) and her sitting 10 ft. away reading her book.

She once waded into a bunch of jealous Lotus wives huddling aside at a Holiday Party, all complaining about their husbands obsessions. She confronted them asking why they would object to something their husbands were so passionate about? That there were many worse things they could be spending time and money on, incl. other females.

Since then, she's started a career running all the major Golf Tourneys in the country and for the past 13 yrs., our lives consist of her being home 2 weeks and gone 2 weeks at a Tourney. She loves that I have something to occupy my time when she's away.

She's seen me go from the stable above to a Big Healey, a Boxster, our newly acquired 911 and the 2002. When I 1st saw our '02, I said:"You know... it seems to be calling to me". Without a twitch, her reply was:"Why don't you chase it and see what happens...".

She didn't even know what an '02 was. But, when I brought it home, she thought it was cute and loves driving it. Our 1st Xmas with the '02, she bought me a 528 M-Tech Steering wheel for the car.

I've used the dishwasher to clean parts, the oven to heat parts to fit a front seal, had spare parts in the guest bedroom, tires in the Dining Room and she's never uttered a word.

She even did the LED conversion to our '02 - she has NO mechanical aptitude whatever, and I knew if she could follow the directions I wrote and get the lights converted, anyone could do it.

Through the years, there have been sacrifices to my passion - vacations not taken, or home improvements put off, but she's never complained.

It goes without saying that I got a good one!

Cheers!

[gastephens]

She's a keeper. Of course you are just hoping she keeps you.

My wife puts up with 3 sports cars and 2 race cars so she is pretty awesome. She let me choose a house that has parking for 7 and even will come to the garage (book in hand) to help bleed the brakes! And she knows how much I spend on cars but never complains.

I know I am lucky but I give a little too. I built her a sewing room and occasionally take her to quilt stores and help her pick fabric. I actually said 'why don't you use the butterscotch for the sashing' the other day! I had to go bust 2 knuckles to prove my masculinity after that.

If you ever get in an argument about your cars there is one response that will shut it down every time: "because it makes me happy". How can she argue with that?

[Jim_75Sahara]

Mary has no interest in cars as anything but a means to get her where she wants to go. {She loves her '01 Taurus wagon. } Wisely, she enjoys seeing me happy and she encourages me to do what I call: bimmers on a budget. I did have to fight for my right to sell a BORING dd and purchase an inexpensive roundel'd dd. She assumed that I'd spend a lot more to get my dd, but there are plenty of interesting, cheap BMW's on CL. The engine rebuild last winter pissed her off when she saw the bill. I seriously owe her a trip to Europe now......

[thehackmechanic]

From my book Car Guy: Why Men (of which I am one) Buy, Drive, Fix, Collect, and Love Cars, and How They Save My Sanity (the cars, not the men) that I am trying to get published:

My mother, easily the wisest person I’ve ever met, once said to me “if your children show interest in anything, treat it like a flower, because if you don’t, you’ll kill it with neglect or worse.” It was easily the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten from anyone, anywhere, about anything. Maire Anne and I have raised our boys, Ethan, Kyle, and Aaron, with my mother’s don’t kill the flower mechanism front and center. All three have found their passions (Ethan film; Kyle theater technology; Aaron photography) and have evolved into wonderful interesting human beings.

And as you give, hopefully you shall receive.

What was the theme song from that old TV show? It’s about time, it’s about space. I love playing with cars. It appears to be something that is essential to my continuing emotional well being. My family gets that and gives me the physical, temporal, emotional, and financial space to do it.

Let me lay this out for you. When I’m in the midst of a major repair, I will retreat to the garage every evening for weeks plus consecutive weekends. And if, in the middle of the repair, I catch a whiff of some car that’s advertised, I will drop everything on a moment’s notice, run out, withdraw several thousand dollars in cash from the bank, drive a hundred miles, and come home with another hobbled car that I’ll then work on for months, starting the cycle all over again. Maire Anne won’t say another car? What are you, nuts? She won’t say we’re due at my mother’s at 3:00. She won’t put her hands on her hips and shrilly declare I want to buy new furniture you’ll have to sell one of those things if I can’t buy new furniture. She sees that buying and working on cars gives me pleasure. She trusts that I am responsible, and that, for the most part, I know what I am doing. I would say that, for this, I love her, but it’s the other way around – in our world, this is how people who love and respect each other behave.

Maire Anne has her flower as well, and unlike my automotive hobby, hers is also her livelihood. Her interest in animals led to a degree in zoology, which then led to her becoming the co-owner of a business called Bugworks. She and her business partner bring insects and arthropods into classrooms to teach kids about respecting the natural world (professionally, she is “the bug lady”). So in our house, in addition to my garage, we have “the bug room,” which hosts terraria that contain tarantulas, scorpions, praying mantises, giant African millipedes, lubbers (grasshoppers of biblical proportion), Madagascar hissing cockroaches, meal worms, the beetles they metamorphose into, and a vinegaroon, which sounds like a cookie but I assure you is not. In return for the bliss I receive working in the garage, I leave Maire Anne alone when she is upstairs feeding the tarantulas.

One could say, “Oh your wife brings bugs home so she can’t really complain when you bring cars home,” but that misses the point. It’s not like we keep score, where one new project car equals two tarantulas and a millipede (though I should try that; her roaches alone should justify at least that ’63 Rambler). Maire Anne has no more squeamishness about coming into the garage than I do journeying into the bug room; in fact, she probably has the same overall reaction, which can be summed up as: what is that smell? In my space it’s the curious combination of brake fluid and rust inhibitor; in hers, high humidity and dead crickets. I did give her a hard time when, one night, while working at the computer, I felt something on my ankle and found a cockroach the size of a Swiss Army knife crawling up my leg. (Response: “Honey, one of your cockroaches got out. Again.”) But then again, she still doesn’t know about the time I used The Good Bread Knife to trim a power steering hose.

At this point, men are probably thinking “who is this woman and how do I inject her Zen-like emotional state into my wife’s body?”

I suspect that many women are thinking two things: “I would never let my husband do that. What does she get out of it?” (If you have to ask, you don’t get it, but how about love, respect, fidelity, and your own space?) The second thing is, “Bugs? Really?”

Now, you could say, “Well, a woman who handles live tarantulas is the poster girl for non-traditional gender roles, so okay, they’re both weirdos no wonder she puts up with him,” but, actually, Maire Anne has documented the parameters of her tolerance:

“I don’t know what my limit for these cars is, but I’ll know it when I see it. Just remember that I have threatened to get dung beetles if you overstep the car line.

“And regarding dung beetles, some insect caretakers have observed that, with respect to dietary preferences, dung beetles can be sustained on something other than poop (“preferred poop” seems more vital to breeding and rearing). Beetle chow can be mixed by adding the following to a blender: half an apple, half a banana, a protein source (a four-inch minnow or about ten earthworms), a quarter cup of wheat germ, a handful of freshly pulled grass grown from bird seed, including the roots and a bit of soil. The resulting mash is rolled into little pellets and stored in the fridge. DO YOU WANT THIS IN OUR FRIDGE? Think about that when that next ad on Craigslist lights a fire under your creeper.”

God I love this woman.

But I must point out that threats of nasty bug-related entities in the refrigerator don’t scare me; we have had a dead solpugid (sun spider; go ahead and Google it) in the freezer for six years. Why? Beats the shit out of me, but who am I to question passion? It does give me food for thought, though, every time I go in there for a Popsicle.

(copyright 2010, Rob Siegel, from what is hopefully the upcoming book Car Guy: Why Men (of which I am one) Buy, Drive, Fix, Collect, and Love Cars, and How They Save My Sanity (the cars, not the men).)

[ewill2002]

Mike in Beavercreek- Well Said!!

Bless her heart, though; she supports my madness and keeps me from going off the deep end, even though she''s definitely not a car person...

[ewill2002]

Wow!!

These are great stories and I appreciate you guys sharing them.

Really insightful, as I sit her thinking about the next addition to my 2002 or the next drive.

I already know what my wife is going to say. She'll say "hmph" and that's OK with me..,

If anyone has any more stories, Please post. They make great reads.

Thanks

[gastephens]

Rob, I am sure that I am so clever no one has ever said this before...

Hey, maybe you should restore a VW for your wife!

Bugs, really!?!

[thehackmechanic]

02for2: That was just beautiful. Some women get this. Obviously ours do. I read it to Maire Anne who loved it.

Glenn: My wife quilts as well; she loved the butterscotch sash comment. And, yes, regarding the interplay between bugs and bugs, there are several of these but this is a nice pic:

http://best.berkeley.edu/~jhey03/img/photo_albums/joshua_tree_national_park_nov_06/VW%20Beetle%20spider.jpg

[Chamonix72]

@02for2 - does she have a single sister?

[Retrogroucher]

Rob,

Sounds like a great book-- get it published! Will the first couple chapters be about Bertha and her love? What about the guitar and music chapter(s)?

You sages have lots of good advice. Bless you all.

Mike

[thehackmechanic]

Hey, Mike, thanks for the encouragement. And yes to all.

[BarryA]

been to Colorado, Arizona, Oregon and multiple trips to southern CA in the '02, and still insists that a couple of those trips are among her all time favorites (even the one that included visiting Arches National Park outside Moab Utah on a 100 + degree day (no ac in the '02). She generally comes along when I go to cruise nights, etc, and has only missed a couple of Bay Area 02 Swap & Shows in 10 years.

Much like Rob's situation, Jana has her own interests that don't set my hair on fire (the violin, knitting, endless hours spent doing the support work for teaching community college classes online) - she gives me space and support for my interests, and I try to do the same for her. Rob really put it very well in saying that some people "get it" and some don't.

One other thing that I think has been instrumental in Jana continuing to want to go along on journeys that are primarily focused on an automotive event - we always make time for activites that she enjoys - whether it's a museum, shopping, or something else........

[tomorrowcalling]

(nt)

[gastephens]

We were at a car event at Road Atlanta. My wife took the Yokohama tire rep out on the track in my Miata and scared the pi$$ out of him. She said, "Why are you scared, they're your tires!"

I told her should should not have let him out until he gave me free tires for life!!